December is a time for Togetherness

Before I sat down to compose the message for today, I was reading the paper.  In today's Strib there is a commentary by the mother of one of the children killed at Annunciation.  I'm including a gift link for anyone who wants to read the entire commentary.  Her words spoke to me this morning when she wrote:

"Every choice matters. How we speak. How we listen. What we normalize. Who we protect.

What kind of world we are building, and who we are becoming in the process.

We can do better.

We must do better.

And we can only do it together." 

[emphasis mine.]

She continues with: "This season, may we remember what winter has always known. We survive by gathering close. By holding each other."

We live in a very challenging world right now, yet the words of a mother who has lost her child and can write a message of hope, were very moving for me.  Everyone is dealing with loss in their lives of one kind or another, but for this mother to sit down and encourage others when she is facing her first Christmas without her child, for me, showed a strength of character that is a beacon of light.  She demonstrates that even in the darkest times, there can be hope.  May those of you reading this post take the time to appreciate the togetherness of those who surround you in love and remember her words: "We survive by gathering close."

 

Traditions in December

Had to spend a bit of time pondering this one for today.  Whenever I see or hear "tradition," I hear the music from "Fiddler on the Roof."  The story focuses on the changes impacting the patriarchal traditions embraced by Tevye and the struggles amidst the tensions that occur because of those changes.  So there is the one aspect of traditions that are undergoing change which may or may not be embraced.  Then there are the memories of possibly happy traditions related to December holidays.   But even then, as families grow and expand and include new family members, family traditions often evolve and change to include new traditions.  Again, tensions may occur as new traditions are born and older traditions cease to be followed.  

There are, of course, a multitude of traditions around meals during the holidays.  For a period of time, when I was young, we often ordered Chinese food for Christmas Eve so that my Mom didn't have to cook as we had a tradition of having a very large family meal with cousins and grandparents on Christmas Day and that involved a lot of cooking.  My Mom and Aunt traded off on who cooked Thanksgiving and who cooked Christmas dinner, but we always shared those two holidays with my cousins who lived in the same town along with my Mom's parents.  So if it was my Mom's turn to cook Christmas dinner, we had Chinese food on Christmas Eve.  That tradition only existed for a short period of time when we shared holiday meals with an extended family, but ended as children grew up and lived elsewhere, we no longer had our grandparents with us, and our parents moved.  But, it is still a fond memory.  And once I moved to Minnesota, different traditions around holiday meals evolved and changed the longer I was here.  Eventually, I was included in Christmas Eve dinner at the home of good friends, and that has become an almost annual tradition.  And I look forward to sharing my Christmas Eve dinner with them again this year.  At the same time, I have another good friend who for the first time ever, is NOT hosting a family holiday meal in December.  Her children are older with their own families and she and her husband will now be guests instead of hosts.  I'm looking forward to hearing how she does in this newfound "freedom" and the possible birth of a new family tradition.

So, just the word "tradition" can stir up happy or not so happy memories and that is why I had to ponder a bit more in preparing something to write.  For those of us getting into more advanced ages, our lives experience all kinds of changes that affect what traditions we carry on during the holidays.  From the loss of people no longer with us, to new family members and new friends, we make adjustments.   I will hope this December if you are undergoing adjustments, that you are enjoying those traditions that make you happy, but also not being subjected to traditions, old or new,  that create stress.   And if your traditions are undergoing change, I hope you embrace the changes and are able to accept them as a positive force in your life.  With the remaining days of December, may you be feeling more joy and engaging in activities that make you happy and finding pleasure in the company of others to share your happiness.

 

Splendor in December

Yesterday I shared a post about sparkle and the outside light displays.  Splendor includes decorations and lights inside.  Tonight is the last night of Hanukkah and the last night for lighting the menorah.  There have been public displays of menorahs this year, including the Sydney Opera House, and several public events in the Twin Cities, all add to the splendor around us. 

This is also the last Sunday of Advent, when we focus on love.  And the indoor splendor of the church after it has been decorated with the greens and the lighting of the last candle is always uplifting and brings joy.

But today is also Winter Solstice.  It is the turning point when the days start to get longer again.  And that is really something to celebrate today!  It starts slowly, but by the end of January, we will have gained almost an hour of daylight.  Celebrate the small wins.

May you find some splendor in your surroundings as well as love and joy during this last day of Hanukkah and the last week of Advent, and the beginning of days when we start to break out of the darkest day.  

December is a time to sparkle

One of the pleasures of the season are the light displays one can find throughout the Twin Cities.  With our winters these lights really do sparkle and provide some much needed cheer.  One of my favorite streets for displays is along Summit Avenue.  And this year, if you want to catch the displays we are supposed to be experiencing a major thaw on Christmas Day. There are also displays in downtown areas, such as the one in Rice Park in Saint Paul that has quite a bit of sparkle.   If you live in the Twin Cities you can find more information about

light displays here.  May you enjoy the season of lights that really do sparkle for us now!

 

December - a time to savor tastes and smells

My fully decorated balsam fir still provides an occasional unexpected whiff of freshness when I sit in the chair located closest to the tree.  I don't have a lot of time to just sit and be still, but my cat will only sit in my lap for an extended period of time when I sit in the one chair that the dog cannot also be on at the same time.  I know the cat needs the comfort of my lap as much as the dog needs the daily walks and play time.  So I savor the time I can sit next to the tree and give her some lap time.  It is also a time to be able to read and so we both benefit from the quiet time.  As we get deeper into winter and with less holiday events, she'll get more lap time and I will get more reading done.

I also savor the foods that appear only at this time of year, such as the latkes I'll be enjoying tomorrow evening at the celebration of Hanukkah with close friends.  I used to make a traditional Buche de Noel years ago when Christmas celebrations involved larger groups of people, but I haven't made one for probably at least two decades.  Probably just as well as I remember the amount of time it took and the occasional cooking failure getting the cake for the log to roll without breaking.  I only made it when Christmas was spent in California because it was one of my Mother's favorites.  I still associate Buche de Noel with memories of her.  This year, I just haven't done a lot of baking.  Primarily because of lack of time, but also due to cancellation of events where I would have shared my cookies.  Alas,  due to the weather an event that would have included pizzelles, another favorite Christmas taste,  was cancelled.  That is one of the challenges of living in Minnesota.  Some years the weather just doesn't cooperate and this December has been one of those years.  Yesterday's slight dusting on top of icy road conditions made it a good day to just stay home.  The good news is that looking ahead to next week, it appears like calm weather for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

As we have plunged back into another cold spell after a few days of thawing, I will hope you have a chance to sit and savor some of the holiday treats that only appear at this time of the year.  There are probably smells and tastes that evoke pleasant memories.  I will hope your festivities allow you to indulge in all those seasonal pleasures that you can savor and enjoy and provide new happy memories.

 

Miracles in December

 

Is there anyone who has NOT seen the 1947 version of the Miracle on 34th Street?  There are many movies about Christmas and everyone has their favorite.  That is one of my all time favorites.  I still draw the line at Die Hard being a Christmas movie, but my lineup usually includes The Bishop's Wife (original version with Cary Grant, David Niven, and Loretta Young), It's a Wonderful Life, Love Actually, When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, recent entries - The Christmas Chronicles 1 and 2, and of course, White Christmas with Rosemary Clooney.  Anyway, lots of different miracles in those movies.  But today's card spurred me to buy a Powerball ticket and who knows, maybe it will result in my own miracle!  May you find a favorite movie streaming for free with no ads to enjoy during the remaining two weeks of December.  And may you have all your errands run before the temps plummet today.  We don't need any miracles on the ice today.

Making Merry in December

 

To "make merry" involves enjoying oneself with others.  This is the time of year of festive parties, gatherings with friends as well as family.  If you are employed, it may involve holiday parties with co-workers.  It also probably means avoiding the scale during an intense period of festive treats and beverages.  Then the question becomes do these festive gatherings make you happy?  Everyone has a different comfort level when it comes to holiday gatherings, but I will hope you get to choose which festivities you participate in and that you only choose to participate in those that truly do provide you with an atmosphere of joy and allows you to make merry with others.  If you receive invitations that instead bring feelings of dread, don't go!  It is much easier to decline invitations with a simple statement that you regret that you have a "previous commitment."  You don't have to share that the commitment is to keeping yourself happy.  During this season it is very easy to get stressed over too many invitations, too much food, and just too many people.  On the other hand, for extroverts, this is the season to embrace and gather with as many others as time allows.  Just recognize when you are doing something because you feel you must versus doing something because it will truly make you happy and your presence with make others happy as a result.  To decline an invitation does not make you a Grinch.  It is a recognition that if you aren't going to be happy, your presence will not increase the happiness of others.  You will find your own happiness in making decisions that make you comfortable.  So, please make merry when you truly want to and rest when you don't. 

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."  Mahatma Gandhi